A couple of nights ago when I was planning to go to bed earlier but as usual ended up reading/studing/eating/chatting until 2:30 am, a very unexpected thought sprang to my mind: MUSIC IS A PROTEST... at least FOR ME. I am not much of a rebellion type: high performance at school and university, the monitor of my group, seniour sister, exemplary daughter...the list can be continued. Frankly speaking, I'm absolutely OK with this. Her Majesty Faith has always been kind and benevolent to me, so I have a bunch of lovely friends and a gorgeous family...But at times I feel like all my bieng is caught up in flames of disobedience, a rebellion pulls the strings in me and I'm overwhelmed with the desire to break the limits and go against all possible stereotypes and rules. And this is where the music helps. I simply express my disagreement, show off my "I-don't-give-a-f**k-to-your-opinion" by listening some alternative styles of music. Names of what groups have just come to your mind? If PLACEBO, RHCP and MUSE, then we definitely have something in common... If not, then I sincerely sympathise that you have missed out on ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY amazing stuff. An incredible high-pitched nasal voice of Brian Molko has a power to awaken undescibable sensations. I just close my eyes and i'm carried away by a stream of sounds that seem to come right out of his heart and fill ours, spreading through the veins and reaching every remote place of my body and soul. "My sweet prince..." And the lyrics...it's stunning! Almost in each song we can here an apeal, a heart-rendering call for help, a prayer to unchain our hearts and succumb to the flow of feelings. "We can build a new tomorrow...today!" Every time a think of this, it gives me shivers...an amazing feeling, isn't it? But the coolest thing about PLACEBO, is the way they look. Something orbitrary opposing to what I actually look like. Black long hair, eyes lined with black eye-shadows, dark shabby manicure and tattoos, tattoos, tattoos all over the body! THAT'S QUITE A PROTEST. By the way, tats - another rebelloin-like thing I will (probably) never dare to have. What is it in their appearance that apeals me that much? Actually its being appalling. And all that gay-homosexual-bisexual-thing...only makes Brian more complicated and at the same time more attractive.

 As for Anthony Kiedis, his voice immediately takes me back to America in 40s-50s with Jack Kerouac's heroes on a highway, free and desperate, looking for freedom and justice, which they are never to find. Or they have never lost them and the freedom lives in them,as well as in all of us, in our souls from the very birth and stays until the last breath? That's a question whose answer is to be found personally by each of us. Even now I can hear a regular rythm of wheels, the smell of cheap tobacco and I can see the golden medal of setting sun hiding its beams in the horrizon. The world that I will never see in flash but can experience every time I switch on "Californication". 

 Muse. If God were to give names to music bands, he would definitely choose this one. M-U-S-E. Its gentle tunes growing into a vigorous whirl of sounds, making your body dance and your soul scream, are one of the most inspiring things I've ever heard in my life. Their music is penetrated with love and light, they give hope and take away all you doubts, you feel strong and able to conquer the world. If we played the game "associations", I'd say "spring", "blossom", "freshness" - words insaparable from the imagery that "MUSE" creats in my mind. That must be quite unusual as this group is mostly referred to as being energetic and extravagant. 

 Well, I guess this is where my confession has to be stopped, though I have plenty more to share. I don't know who I am addressing to, but if you are reading this, just take care.

So, let's see what we have here...it's only 2 a.m. and there are 6 hours left for me to get some sleep. I wonder what thoughts are waiting for me tonight...?